For years I thought I was broken because I couldn’t orgasm.
I thought because of my history of growing up in a home filled domestic violence, childhood sexual trauma, and my suicide attempt at 16 I was unworthy of pleasure.
I am the daughter of immigrants, a first-gen Filipino-American
raised by a traditional Catholic family who was wildly uncomfortable with discussing anything related to sex, relationships, and/or money.
Growing up art and creative self-expression was deeply important and healing to me. My pursuit of it often made me the black sheep of the family. In their eyes I should’ve been a nurse, doctor, or engineer, instead I pursued careers that centered my passion for bold and creative expression.
I became a mother at 21
and spent my 20s and 30s focused on doing all the things a “good girl” in society is supposed to do. Get married, have kids, climb the career ladder, and make tons of money.
I was a hairstylist for 10 years helping people find their most authentic self-expression through beauty. After becoming a platform artist for a company called Rusk and being sought out for one of the best stylists in SF Bay Area I was asked to join an art and tech company as the Director of Community at VSCO, managing a team that supported digital creators as they crafted their artistry.
In 2013, I was burned out, depressed, out of shape, and needing a change. I decided to take radical self-responsibility for my health and wellbeing and began working out for the first time in my life (outside of high school) at 29 years old.
This was when my deepest transformation and journey of learning how to love myself unconditionally through the lens of embodied self-care and transforming trauma began. My own personal wellness journey inspired a career shift towards becoming a holistic life coach.
By 35 years old I was wildly successful on paper, my work as a wellness coach and influencer had been mentioned all across the globe in publications like Shape Magazine, Elle, and Glamour. I partnered with brands like Nike Women, Adidas, Burts Bees, Muscle Milk, and many others.
On the outside, I had the most Instagram worthy life.
On the inside…
I felt disconnected from myself and my own desires. Despite all the attention and success, there was an emptiness that I couldn’t ignore. I was living life on auto-pilot, constantly in a state of “doing” under the false assumption that more I do, the more I will have, and then I will finally deserve to experience pleasure.
I transformed my relationship to my body through fitness, but still felt alienated from my body. I was having shitty performative sex that left me feeling disposable. I found myself in the midst of a misaligned marriage, feeling suffocated by societal expectations, and completely detached from my own needs and desires.
I had no idea what turned me on, not just sexually but in life. I had been operating under the illusion that if I followed the prescribed path, checked off all the boxes, and achieved societal success, then I would eventually find happiness and fulfillment. I realized that I had been neglecting the one of the most important aspects of my self expression– my sexuality.
It was the spring of 2018, and my eldest daughter, Airis, brought home a piece of paper from school and said to me, “We’re about to start sex ed. Here is the permission slip.”
I knew at that moment that I had to be the one to educate my kids about sexuality, pleasure, and consent. I couldn't rely on the school systems, media, or culture to give them the information they needed to navigate safely and confidently through their sexuality.
It was going to be me. That's when I realized, Holy shit. I can’t teach my kids about sex, pleasure, and consent. I am not empowered in my sexuality, in fact, I feel confused and conflicted.
There I was the self-love and empowerment coach who can make powerful moves in her life and business, but lacked the power in her body when it came to my desires in sex and relationship.
One fine spring afternoon
while my daughters were in school I decided to pleasure myself for no other purpose but to play and explore my body simply for pleasure. I grabbed some coconut oil, lit a candle, put on some music, and began to touch my skin with the intention to learn and discover how my body responds to certain touches, smells, and expressions.
For the first time, I felt truly connected to my body in a way I had never experienced before. It was a pivotal moment in my journey towards understanding myself, what brought me health and fulfillment, and my self-expression.
One exploration led to the next.
I discovered sacred sexuality through a private tantra workshop. I travelled the globe to train with world-class sexuality teachers, somatic practitioners, and embodiment coaches. In 2021 I became a certified VITA™ Tantric Sex and Relationship Coach.
What once was pain transformed into purpose fueled passion and mission to teach sensuality as a path to inner wisdom and self-pleasure as a way to heal trauma.
For about 5 years, I dedicated myself to understanding the depths of sexuality, transformation, and spiritual awakening.
I went from absolute self-loathing to unconditional radical AF self-love and self-acceptance.
I stopped seeing my body as a limitation and started seeing it as a vessel for pleasure, connection, and empowerment.
I stopped people pleasing in sex and my relationships and starting having soul-shattering, cosmic orgasms.
Despite all of the heartbreak and trauma I have endured, I’ve found myself living a life filled with sensual bliss and a deep alignment with my original essence.
I am in the relationship I have always dreamed of with a partner who loves me deeply and supports my growth and evolution. We create a space of deep intimacy and connection that allows us both to explore and express our desires freely.
Our daughters have witnessed my transformation and have learned the power of self-love and acceptance through my example.
I am in the midst of the most exquisite love affair with ALL of my life, leaving me fully embodied with the wisdom to show you exactly how to turn on your magic.
Through this journey towards becoming a leader of love for my family and community, I learned that pleasure was my birthright, and through my deep exploration of pleasure birthed a truth that anchors all of my work…
Sexuality is the purest form of self expression. It's how we move, sound, think, and experience the world through impulse and sensation.
My mission now is to help others tap into their own pleasure and sensuality as a way to heal trauma, connect with their original essence, and live more fulfilling lives.
I believe that embracing our sexuality and honoring our desires is a key component of overall well-being and self-expression.
I am passionate about guiding others on their own paths towards healing, self-discovery, and love.
As a sex and relationship coach, I bring a unique blend of experiences and knowledge to my coaching practice. I work with individuals and couples to explore their sensual selves, heal from past traumas, and cultivate deeper connections in their relationships.
I believe that sexuality is sacred, beautiful, powerful, and an innate part of you.
I believe that beneath pleasure is love, to heal wounding requires love, to grow we need love.
I believe that transformation occurs not from trying to be something different than we are, but by practicing intimacy as an practice of acceptance.
I believe that the richness of our lives is intertwined with the depth of intimacy and connection in our relationships.
I invite you to join me on this journey towards a more fulfilling and authentic life, where pleasure is not just a luxury, but a birthright.
Together, we can explore the depths of our sensuality, heal our wounds, and embrace the fullness of who we are.
If you’ve ever been deeply heartbroken, wounded by your past, disconnected from yourself, afraid or ashamed of sex and/or love, know this…
You are worthy, and it is possible.
If a woman like me can rise from where I did, so can you.
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